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Before you burst into tears as you start to receive those ‘Save the Dates’ in the mail, breathe. Don’t begin to doubt how incredible you are, although I’m sure the thought “HOW COULD JANET BE GETTING MARRIED BEFORE ME?!” crosses your mind. Janet might’ve gotten her shit together before you did, or maybe she settled. Either way, you’re going to that wedding single and here’s how you’re going to do it (without ending the night with your head in the toilet) —
1. Don’t RSVP out of obligation
Just because Janet held your hair while you puked after every party your freshman year, DOES NOT mean you have to go to this wedding. If you’re emotionally unstable, know your limits. Send a gift and keep working on you.
2. Wear whatever makes you feel the hottest
If you do end up going, make sure you’re looking sexual – you never know who you might lock eyes with!
3. Give a wedding gift that is reflective of your relationship with the couple
Just because you’re single, and maybe a little upset about it, doesn’t mean you should give a bitter gift.
4. DON’T participate in the bouquet toss
Let those desperate girlfriends who are trying to light a fire under their hardheaded boyfriend’s ass deal with that madness.
5. DON’T hook up with more than one person
By all means, find yourself a cutie – but don’t be that girl getting sloppy with all of the groomsmen.
6. Take notes
Your day will come! Stay positive and keep working on you. While you’re doing that, take notes on what works and what is tacky as hell.