I have blogged before about being safe and researching your dates. It’s even an entire chapter in my first book, Rule #9. Though I still can not emphasize this enough. In my day job I am a real estate agent and I have manged property rentals for the last 10 years. I have been running background checks on tenants for a long time. I also used to be in the mortgage industry as an underwriter when all the fraud was going on. I investigated and found so much illegal activity, maybe this is why I am so good at doing background checks on dates as well. To me it was fun to catch these loan officers red handed using dead persons social security numbers and falsifying credit ratings in order to get loans. If I smelled a rat, I would dig until I found substantial evidence to prove them guilty. Maybe I should have been an attorney?
Today I was running a background check on two prospective tenants who are dating. They are wanting to move in together and rent a house I have listed. The woman told me that her boyfriend had run into some trouble in the past and I would discover this. She at first didn’t want to have him on the lease, but I’m require all adults to be listed so everyone is held responsible if anything goes wrong.
The first thing I do is search her boyfriends name in the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Jail. I wanted to see exactly what his charges are for. OMG. She said he had screwed up when he was young, I totally understand that. I have done some dumb things too I got caught for, but mine are merely petty stuff like smoking a joint. So I think I’m more accepting of peoples past and take more of a down-to-earth approach.
When her boyfriends rap sheet pulled up, my mouth dropped open. He has been arrested nine times since 1995 all charges are for domestic violence or robbery with aggravated assault. Now my concern is for her. I’m assuming she knows of these charges? Maybe she doesn’t since she mentioned only two, not the nine that actually pulled up. Why would she want to move in with this guy? I could see one charge as a misunderstanding, but nine that all include assault? That’s a recipe for disaster just waiting to happen.
I’m going to tell her when I speak to her of these other charges and see what her reaction is. I’m assuming she’s probably going to cover it up and bypass it. Letting it all go in one ear and out the other. It makes me scared for her. Unfortunately sometimes our rational brains do not process information like this seriously. We just turn a blind eye because we only hear and see what we want to.
With my second fiance I didn’t do a background check until after we were engaged. His arrest record was so long, I couldn’t even take it all in at once. I couldn’t absorb everything on the screen. He was a con-artist which I soon discovered after the fact. He compromised my bank accounts and emails. I had to file a seven year fraud alert on my credit report because someone kept opening accounts with it, which I have no proof, but it has to be him. Before I met him he said he had moved from N FL down to Tampa for a job, that was a lie. I instead discovered he has just gotten out of prison for almost killing a guy in a bar fight! He had a 12 year old daughter for whom he never paid child support and I found out when the Sheriff came to my door looking for him. That is barely even the tip of the iceberg with that loser.
My point is, always do your research on people. It really is a jungle out there and you need to keep yourself safe. When you do come across and find the truth, don’t dismiss it! I really fear for this woman wanting to live with such a violent guy. I hope and wish her the best.
I am now offering background check services on my website for anyone you are curious about. I’m starting this service off with a special discount rate of $25 per check. All searches will be performed by me. I will not just plug info into a form and have it spit out the results. I do it all myself with various resources. Your safety is too important! Scan the QR code at the top and it will take you directly to the background form.
Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.