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No  matter how tempting it is to act out because your partner is acting different and/or feels like they’re not as invested in the relationship as they were before – communication is always the first step. Trying to make your partner jealous by texting another person or trying to connect with an ex is NOT the way to go.

how-to-handle-controlling-behavior-in-a-relationship

Check out this scale from Development of the Romantic Jealousy-Induction Scale and the Motives for Inducing Romantic Jealousy study —

How you would rate the items on the team’s jealousy induction scale? Rate each item on a 7-point scale in which 1= strongly disagree and 7= strongly agree.

  1. I talk with X (your partner) about my past romantic relationships in order to make X (your partner) jealous.
  2. I talk with X about my past “hookups” in order to make X jealous.
  3. I talk with X about my past crushes in order to make X jealous.
  4. I talk with X about my previous dates in order to make X jealous.
  5. I talk with X about my opposite-sex friendships in order to make X jealous.
  6. I talk with X about my opposite-sex classmates in order to make X jealous.
  7. I tell X when others flirt with me in order to make X jealous.
  8. I talk with X about people whom I find attractive in order to make X jealous.
  9. I tell X when others express romantic interest in me in order to make X jealous.
  10. While we were casually dating, I would tell X about others whom I had recently gone out on dates with in order to make X jealous.
  11. I talk with X about my same-sex friendships in order to make X jealous.
  12. I talk with X about my same-sex classmates in order to make X jealous.
  13. I talk with X about my family in order to make X jealous.
  14. I flirt with people in front of X in order to make X jealous.
  15. I tell X about my previous sexual encounters with others in order to make X jealous.
  16. I tell X about strong emotional connections I have had with others in order to make X jealous.
  17. I falsely tell X that others are romantically interested in me in order to make X jealous.
  18. I falsely tell X that others are sexually interested in me in order to make X jealous.

After completing the scale, you should have a good sense of your standings on a scale of overall tendency to engage in jealousy induction, within the potential range of 18 to 126 points.

 

If you find yourself leaning toward the higher end, it may be time to either start a conversation with your partner on how to fulfill your needs or end it.