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TaraRichterDatingCoach4When one relationship ends most people are quick to jump into another one (or at least try to). This is often recipe for disaster. Opening yourself up to opportunities of finding love and being vulnerable, especially after you have been previously hurt, is a wonderful, courageous act. But it is never a good idea to take that leap until you have completely healed all your past wounds. As with my first book, the first rule of 10 Rules for Surviving the Internet Dating Jungle is Ready to Date? It holds the same concept as Rule #1 of my first book: Heal All Wounds Before Loving Another.

After a break up or divorce most people want to hop right back into dating primarily (whether they realize it or not) because they are lonely. But being lonely is a direct result of being unhappy with yourself. When you are unsatisfied with yourself as an individual, it is difficult to spend time alone because it gives you too many opportunities to face your true thoughts and emotions. It scares a lot of people. But until you face those demons head on, you are only distracting and fooling yourself. This is why so many people find themselves in a web of bad dates or surrounding themselves with company they don’t entirely enjoy.

Until you unconditionally love yourself, you cannot love another. You must take the necessary steps towards loving yourself, and the first of those is to heal the wounds caused by past relationships and experiences.

One of the multiple strategies I suggest in my book is “Burning Therapy”. This is a process/ritual that consists of literally taking everything tangible item (documents, cards, photos, etc.) that remind you of your ex(es) and burning them to release all the negative energy and bad emotions.

Until you have faced, understood and accepted each and every emotion that you have suppressed, (I’m talking as far back as childhood!), you will never reach your full potential of being. You need to come to terms and love yourself before you are able to give that kind of support and stability to another person. A healthy relationship requires two whole people. No exceptions.

Whether you are trying to meet someone from a dating website or at new clubs you are attending, the bottom line is the same; if you are seeking a healthy, loving relationship, you must first look inwards, heal all your wounds, and decide if you are truly ready to date yet.

Download the entire chapter on Rule #1 on Kindle by clicking here

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.