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Heart Kindle QRAlthough this rule may seem obvious or strange to some, it is important for many reasons. First of all, addictions are not always introduced in the beginning stages of a relationship. It may not be for months, even years down the road are you able to notice negative and addictive patterns in a person. It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about alcohol, drugs, or a porn addiction here. The second you realize they are an addict, your best move is to get out as quickly as possible. I do not say this to be insensitive; I say this because addictions are more powerful than you, them, or your relationship. It may end up draining and destroying the both of you and, at the end of the day, the only person who can truly help an addict, is the addict themselves (despite how many people believe, and try, otherwise).

When you try to “save” a person you’re in a relationship with from their addiction, you drag the Lost Puppy Syndrome rule into the equation. While your intentions are good and your heart is in the right place, you will never be able to save this person the way you want to. They need to save themselves—for themselves, not for you or the sake of your relationship.

If someone has an addiction they have a lot of deep rooted issues going on that were probably there long before you met them and your relationship started. It is important the person deals with these issues and takes the time to heal themselves, completely absent of trying to deal with another person and relationship.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.