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TaraRichterDatingCoach6Generations of submissive behavior have shaped women into believing they should play a passive role in courting men—that they should sit pretty, and wait for their knight in shining armor to come and rescue them. What a load of crap.

I’m not sure what kind of world the women who still believe in this are living in, but they need to get out. Times aren’t changing. They have changed. Whether it be with our careers or men, if we as women want something, then we are entitled, and encouraged, to go out and get it!

Have you been dating for a few months but haven’t met “The One”?  Some women become quickly discouraged, but they shouldn’t. Dating isn’t easy. Whether or not you believe in soul mates, it is important to understand that maintaining any relationship is going to be difficult. Honestly, it’s hard finding someone you can spend a week straight—let alone the rest of your life—with.

One of the most important reminders to give yourself when dating is to never lose your sense of self. Don’t get carried away too much, and don’t ever let yourself be defined by another person. Regardless of how in love you are, or how happy your relationship is, or how long you have been together, you will always be your own person.

Sometimes, men approach a relationship with a woman as wanting to “take care of them.” While being a “kept” woman has its perks—like a constant flow of cash and the leisure of early retirement—make sure you are being treated like a princess for the right reasons, and not just controlled. Unfortunately, there are still a number of men out there that treat women like possessions.

More importantly, there shouldn’t be an urge to be “rescued” in the first place. Going back, as always, to my #1 Rule (Heal All Wounds before Loving Another), you should have already rescued yourself before you began dating again. You need to be your own, independent, happy, and healthy self before you become part of a relationship. Another important thing to remember is that, although many people define independence as being okay on your own, this isn’t exactly the whole truth.

The gift of being truly, 100% independent is granted not only when you are able to be happy with yourself and your life on your own, but when you are able to have other people around and maintain close, intimate relationships, without changing yourself.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.