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Although you would think this is obvious, you would be surprised (or, then again, maybe you wouldn’t) at how many people are willing to engage in a relationship with a married person. It doesn’t matter if they claim their marriage is on the rocks or that they “plan” on leaving their significant other soon—if they are married, walk away.
No relationship feels good when you’re forced to keep it private. While some may find secrecy thrilling, the guilt will ultimately eat you alive. I understand that dating can be tough… really tough. It is exhausting and there is often a panic of aging too quickly and not settling down fast enough. When we focus on the fear of this for too long, we end up making rash, illogical decisions—like having affairs with married men, hoping one day they will leave their wives.
If you start dating someone because they initially told you they were single, only you later find out that they lied, I hope you have enough sense to walk away right then and there—for obvious reasons. No matter how many excuses that person may give—walk way. There is no excuse or room for that kind of lying in a healthy relationship. Marriage is not something you simply sweep under the rug. If you start dating on the premise of a lie, while this person is cheating on their spouse—what makes you think that they are not going to do the same once they “commit” to you? Old habits die hard.
Also, if a person is fresh out of a failed marriage, and hasn’t even legally divorced yet, what makes you think they are emotionally ready to begin a new relationship? (Reference: Rule #1: Heal All Wounds before Loving Another). Never cheapen yourself. Do not settle as being someone’s “other.” You deserve to be someone’s everything.