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Smiling woman standing at barWhen you are out and about in the dating jungle as a woman, you want to make yourself approachable. Believe it or not, men do have a hard time approaching women. Even when they are successful & intelligent human beings, because no one likes rejection. Many times the shy ones are the good guys.  Have you ever had the feeling that you only attract the douche bags? How come I never like any of the men that like me?

If you’ve ever had that feeling, try this trick. When you are out and about with your girlfriends, separate yourself from the crowd. Men have a hard time approaching a group of women. It’s hard enough to possibly get rejected from one girl let alone being embarrassed in front of a group of them. It’s much easier to talk a woman who is by herself.

Instead of going to the bathroom in a group, like us women normally do, hang back and “save the table” for everyone. Show up to dinner with your girlfriend early and hang out at the bar and have a glass of wine while you wait for her. I can guarantee if there’s a man interested in you in that room, he will make a move while you are alone.

It took me even awhile to see this pattern happening to myself. I was out with my girlfriend over Memorial Day weekend at Blue Martini in Fort Lauderdale. The place was packed, we sat at a high-top table and I saw a few guys checking me out. They circled around the table looking over, but scared to do anything.   As soon as my friend went over to the bar to get us a drink, one of them swooped in and sat next to me. Then another walked by and gave him a dirty look as if to say, damn you got there first. It was hilarious. Then after he left sometime later and my girlfriend left again to go to the bathroom another one swooped in and took her spot.

It finally clicked in my head. These guys will not approach me unless I’m alone because it’s easier on them. I have no idea why I never got this conception my twenties, yet I possibly wasn’t paying attention. I was also tight in my pack of girlfriends making myself very unapproachable. Remember to smile and make yourself inviting too, obviously sitting alone with a scowl on your face isn’t going to invite anyone to join you no matter how long you’re sitting alone. They probably figure there’s a reason why no one’s sitting next to you.

When you are sitting there by yourself for however long, don’t pick up your smart phone and become engulfed in Facebook land. I know I’m guilty of this as well. It seems in this day and age if we are alone for a mere few seconds, we have this knee jerk response to get lost in the digital world.  How easy would it be for a stranger to talk to you then? Think about it, would go up and talk to someone who is looking down reading their phone? No, you probably wouldn’t. Because you would feel like you’re bothering them. So pull yourself off your iPhone and get back to the real world that’s happening to you right now right in front of you. Smile, make eye contact with a guy walking by. Just that simple gesture can open conversation and break the ice to meet new and interesting people.

Also try my other method “Throw The the Man a Bone”

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.