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push-buttonEveryone walking around this planet has hot buttons. You know when someone says something and it just rubs you the wrong way? You may not know why but sometimes even just the presence of that person makes you all bent out of shape. It really doesn’t have anything to do with the person, it has everything to do with you and why you are letting them push your buttons.

Some of us have a few buttons and others are a minefield of bombs waiting to explode. I bet you know one of those people too. Everyone walks around on egg shells around this person because you never know what will set them off, make them blow up. They are covered head to toe in buttons. If anything they should be the ones reading this article! They are the ones who are judge ordered to anger management therapy.

Now wouldn’t it be nice if we had no buttons? No hot issues? That we could just glide through life happy for the most of the time? No one’s happy 24-7. But if we could keep our energy and not give someone else so much power of our own emotional state, it can happen. I know because I have been able to clear my own sensitive buttons. There’s a simple process to it and I’m going to share with you how it’s done.

It’s not repeating “serenity now” and suppressing the issue. To only have it explode somewhere else. Do you remember the episode in Seinfeld where everyone was chanting “serenity now” to only burst out in anger later? Funny during the show, not so funny in real life.

What I’m going to teach you here is how to actually clear the button so it can never be pushed again. Once you learn how to successfully clear your buttons it’s a very powerful tool.

I’ll share with a story about one of my buttons and how I cleared it. I had a friend for many years that I was only a mere acquaintance for a while. For some reason every time I was around her she made me feel very insecure about myself. I didn’t really even know why I felt this way. It had nothing to do with her; she was a very nice sweet person. She was never rude or inconsiderate of my feelings, yet just being around her made all these feelings bubble up inside of me.

I never felt like my normal, funny, self-assured being around her. It mainly had to do with some low self-esteem issues within me. I’ve always been the tall, curvy blonde in my crowd of friends. Yet this woman was taller than me, skinner than me, and blonder than me. Being around someone that was one-step-up from me in every way, tapped into my insecurity issues.

We didn’t hang out for a few years then after some changes in events we became close friends. Even after all those years my buttons were still being pushed. Finally what I did one night when we were out having drinks and all my issues starting bubbling to the surface, within my head (not out loud because then I would look like a crazy person) I repeated this mantra:

“This are my own insecurities”
“My issues from abandonment and rejection are resurfacing”
“This are old childhood self-esteem issues”
“This are old feelings and not who I am now”

Amazingly within about 10 minutes in the bar repeating this over and over again in my head, the feeling finally went away and I could enjoy the night. Now it’s been a few months and I don’t have any of these feelings arise when I’m around my friend. I was able to successfully clear the button it in the moment. My subconscious brain now knows that those are old dead issues. It’s not even the way I view myself today.

When I was younger I was ridiculed in school for being too tall and for developing big breasts an entire year before all the other girls. Kids called me fat even though I was just very tall. I was 5 feet 5 inches in 4th grade. I was enormous. Not great for the self-esteem of a 12 year old girl. It was insane. My human growth hormone was on over drive. Yet once in high school everyone else caught up to me and obviously in adulthood I blend in. However those old insecurities were always within me. Bubbling up every now & then. Certain people would push those buttons within me.

Yet the good thing is that now you have the capabilities to clear your buttons very easily like I did. Once you learn how, it’s very simple. When you have mastered the talent you too can erase your hot issues within a few minutes, it is possible.

When something irritates you just stop and think … why? Why is this circumstance making me feel ill? Why do I feel upset? You need to feel your emotions in order to figure out what’s going on. Why is this person pushing my buttons? How can they bring up these intense feelings deep inside me? What role are they playing in this scene and what roll am I playing? How are they able to tap deep into my triggers?

Take some time to clear your head and clear your button. You may need to remove yourself from the situation when you are first developing this skill. It might easier to be alone and away from the chatter of other people. Once you master this healing process you will be able to do it quickly and wherever you are.

Tara Richter

Radio Show Host, Certified Dating Coach & Author of “Survive the Dating Jungle Serieswww.datingjunglebook.com www.tararichter.com