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Girl flirting with guy in classWhen you’re dating someone in the beginning stages watch for signs that this is the one for you. The signs I of speak of are within our feelings. Emotions that bubble up deep inside you caused by being around or thinking if this special person. Sometimes we got so caught up of over analyzing every aspect of this person, a “good on paper” type of review, we forget to how to feel.

Remember your very first crush? Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Recall back in middle or high school when the boy you liked said hi passing you by in the hallways? You blushed, pulling your books up to cover your sheepish grin and it felt like it was only the two of you in the entire school because time stopped and everyone else faded into the background? That’s the feeling I’m talking about!

We need to get back to listening to our feelings and stop over analyzing everything. Yes, you want to make rational decisions, but hold out for the one that makes you giddy inside, gives you butterflies, makes you glow just thinking or talking about them. After going through bitter break-ups and bad divorces we get jaded, scorned and put our walls up. We don’t want to let someone in 100% again because we are so terrified of putting our hearts on our sleeves. Ironically though, that’s the only way you can find true love.  If you never put yourself out on a hope and a whim how will anyone else ever do the same for you?

That’s why it’s so important to heal your wounds like I talk about in both of my books. Without healing yourself you will never be able to fully love again with an open heart. People will be able to sense your walls. Who wants to be an old, alone & cynical at 70? I don’t think any of us do, but it happens, to a lot of people. I’m sure you’ve encountered many of these people I’m speaking of. Don’t let yourself become one!

Let your heart open to new experiences and new people. Hold out for the person that makes you as excited & silly like a high school crush. You can’t wait for their phone call, to see them again and be in their presence. Someone that makes you want to listen to those sappy love songs on the radio. Who makes you want to be a better person. When you look into their eyes everyone else disappears and it feels like time stops. It may take years but you will eventually find that person. A friend of mine who I interviewed  for my “10 Rules to Survive the Internet Dating Jungle” found his angle on Match.com; after being married divorced and searching for her for 18 years. They are now in their 60s, but he finally found her. Wouldn’t you rather wait for “can’t live without you love” versus settling for “it’s just ok love”? Watch his beautiful proposal here. I can guarantee it will bring a tear to your eye.

If the person you are dating doesn’t give you butterflies, doesn’t make you want to go to the mountain tops and scream it to everyone that you’re so happy to have found this person, then they may not be the one for you.  If you don’t have those intense feelings in the beginning you probably never will. Usually feelings are going to settle down, after the initial honeymoon phases, so if you’re not having it now it’s not going to suddenly pop up six months from now. Everyone deserves to have a partner who’s completely and utterly in love with them, and you with them. Don’t settle for less.

Tara Richter
Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.