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Gold DiggerA big complaint from men with online dating is coming across serial daters. First let us define what a serial dater is. It’s a person who goes out on multiple dates for financial gain such as free dinners. They are not interested in the person paying for the meal & getting to know them.

In this economy especially you want to be careful of serial daters for not only financial reasons, but also to protect your heart. It’s actually very simple to pick them out online, as I describe in my 2nd book, “10 Rules to Survive the Internet Dating Jungle.” You want to utilize my rule of short 20 minute coffee meet-n-greets.

Short meet-n-greets work for various reasons. First of all a short meeting will give you an easy out if the person misrepresented themselves online. Another big complaint from men dating online, that women say they’re thinner & younger than what they really are. 20 minutes is plenty of time to find out if you like the person & if there’s chemistry there for a 2nd longer dinner date.

When you ask a woman out online for an initial coffee meet up, if she’s turned off by the idea, she might be a serial dater. If she agrees, you know she’s into finding out more about you & not the meal. If she instead keeps pushing the dinner date & won’t compromise, you may want to rethink it all together. Maybe you can suggest another kind of short meeting like ice-cream, yogurt, or a shake from Jamba Juice if she’s a health nut. Pretty much anything that doesn’t involve a full blown meal besides happy hour. No alcohol on first meetings. You both want to have a clear head.

Now with this rule being said, there can be generation gaps that wouldn’t approve of my methods. However in this day & age of dating technology, there are new rules that apply. I know some older women would be offended by just coffee that it says the man is cheap. With these women you just need to reassure them that you well intend to take them on a fancy dinner date once the both of you agree the chemistry is there. This is just an initial meet-n-greet, not a date. That you are also doing this to protect her interests as well. She may not be into you when you finally met in person & you want to make sure that she feels 100% comfortable in your presence.

Tara Richter
Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.