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Businessman checks text messages on cell phoneI presented my book, “10 Rules to Survive the Dating Jungle” to a singles Meetup group last night. This Meetup was for 40 and up and I myself being 35, discovered that there are certain topics for singlehood that vary greatly between the different age gaps. Being single and 50 after being married for 20 years then divorced for 10 year is a different playground than being in your 30s. Different generations have different expectations on what a man or woman should do. Older generations did not grow up with cell phones, iPads and texting capabilities. They are used to someone picking up the phone and calling them for a date. They believe it’s the right thing to do.

Now we are in a technology age. You don’t have to pick up the phone to ask someone out. There are various methods. You can send an email, text message, Instant Messgae, Skype, Facetime, record a video, I mean really the possibilities are endless. Especially if you met someone from an online dating site, most date requests are going to come from an email. Because, well, that’s how you began communication. Sometimes you will exchange phone numbers previously before a date, though I don’t think it really matters to have hour long conversations on the phone prior to meeting someone. I say this because even talking on the phone has no measure of chemistry between 2 people.

I have had many hour long conversations for weeks with men I meet on a dating site prior to meeting them in the flesh, to only be disappointed in person. Then I wasted all that time talking to them when nothing developed. If we stayed friends no big deal, yet my time is precious. My life is crazy busy and I don’t have hours on end to spend chatting someone up. They only way you can really tell if there’s chemistry or a connection is to meet that other person in the flesh. Until you do that everything else is really a waste of time.

I also don’t believe a man has to call you and ask you out in person. There’s nothing wrong with a text message or email asking you to dinner or lunch. I know a lot of people are going to argue me on this fact as they did last night, but I truly believe it’s a generation gap. I text everyone besides my mother and father. Every now & then I’ll talk to a girlfriend on the phone to catch up on our lives if texting it too complicated to get the point across. A man can text me to go out and then we can talk for hours in person. I would much rather speak to someone in person versus over the phone that I’m dating.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.