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What is love spam? This is a term I coined while writing my second book, “10 Rules to Survive the Internet Dating Jungle”, in chapter 4 Initiating Contact Online.

Love spam is when you write one good email and blast it out to everyone on a internet dating site. You can tell when you have been love spammed because it’s a generalized email that could pertain to anyone.

Some people think internet dating is a numbers game, that it true in some part, but blasting out the same email to multiple men or women just to see who responds is not a good strategy. I personally don’t respond to love spam emails because I know they’re just throwing something at a wall and seeing where it sticks. I will respond to someone who sends me an email and asks me a  personalized question. That shows they read my bio.

Example of a love spam email:

Hello there my dear, like a piece of artwork being unveiled.. those are the only words I can use to describe your pictures my dear.  Please tell me my dear.. where have you been all my life? Been looking for you in the day and night with a flash light.  P.S. I can erase the past”

It seems nice, sweet and innocent, yet it’s a generalized email. It can be sent out to anyone. Plus he already thinks I’m the one? We haven’t even met in person yet? He hasn’t heard my voice, he has only seen my photos. It’s like a cheesy pick up line in a bar.

Example of a good non-love spam email:

Hi, I noticed you like to go rollerblading. What trails or areas do you usually go? I really like the causeway during sunset. Would you like to go rollerblading together sometime?”

This is a great introductory email to someone. First of all it’s personalized to you. You know he read your bio and noticed you both have rollerblading in common. He’s asked you out, but in a non-pressure kind of way.

Remember when initiating contact in the online dating jungle, don’t send love spam!

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.