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This is something I created myself after my divorce. After you end a relationship there’s a lot of left over stuff that lingers and haunts you. Every time you turn a corner you see something that reminds you of your ex. Photos, books, presents, you name it. The longer you two have been together, the more stuff you accumulate. Now the question is since the relationship is dead, what do you do with all this stuff?

Once my divorce was finalized, instead of being sad and depressed about it, I decided to celebrate the new chapter in my life ahead of me. I hosted a Divorce Party with all my close friends. This is getting pretty popular now days. Probably because a lot of people are going through divorce or just another reason to throw a party!

I had my divorce party at my dad’s house on St. Pete Beach. I was living there after our separation since I didn’t have anywhere else to go after moving out of our house. My ex and I were married for like a second, I think the stain on Monica Lewinski’s dress stayed around longer than our marriage lasted, so I had tons of wedding stuff. The last thing I wanted to see was left over wedding invites, RSVP cards, and well wishes for the happy couple.

I could have just thrown all that stuff into a garbage can, but what’s the fun in that? No, I had to do something different, something that would really allow me to release all the negative energy and bad emotions from my past. Just throwing my marriage in the garbage and putting it out on the curb didn’t do justice for the hell my ex put me through. All the pain he caused deep inside my soul and the cracks he created in my heart. No, this deserved a ceremony, a burning ceremony. Thus burning therapy was born.

The first half of the divorce party was normal; drinks, appetizers, music and socializing. The second half the burning ceremony began. By this time the sun had already set behind the ocean and the stars were out glistening over the dark intercostal waters. We all gathered around the fire pit and set flames to the wood. Soon yellow and orange colors danced across the logs. I pulled out left over RSVP cards from the wedding and one by one dropped them into the pit. The corners bursts into flames and the paper curled up. February 27th 2010, our wedding date that was printed on the card slowly melted and disappeared. Soon the entire card was just ashes blowing in the wind.

It felt fantastic! I couldn’t wait to burn more stuff. This was the best feeling in the world. With every piece of memory slowly burning away to nothing, so did my pain. The energy of the fire was sucking all the negativity out of my soul. I was mesmerized by the fire, starring into the glowing embers.  Each item I burned I felt lighter and lighter. I was sweating profusely from the heat of the flames, but I didn’t notice it because I felt indestructible.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.