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Do you ever notice that being around certain people drives you to drink? Of course we all have relatives and friends that make us want to drink in order to be around them. Especially around the holidays, which thank goodness at those occasions it’s usually acceptable to crack open a bottle of wine at 11 AM. If it wasn’t we may have more violence at the table than just slicing the turkey.

Since being back in the dating jungle, I’ve noticed certain guys I go out on dates with I only have fun if I am drinking alcohol. That’s why I made my first date rule to have coffee dates instead of happy hour. Though, sometimes they pass the first few sober dates test. Then a few weeks into it, I find myself always going for the wine when I’m in their presence.

A few months ago I dated a guy who was super nice and sweet, but rather annoying in his personality. He just did things that got under my skin. I’m very organized, detail oriented and he rather lived in his head, up above in the clouds somewhere.

I realized the only way I could relax and enjoy being around him was, well if I had a decent buzz.  If I was sober I wanted to drop kick his ass out the car. Obviously once coming to this conclusion I had to break it off. If you have to be inebriated in order to tolerate someone, it’s not going to work out in the long haul.

We may not even realize that we are drinking in order to impair our own judgment just to be with someone. We tell ourselves consciously that this is a good person for us, that we should be with them. Though, if it’s just not clicking and you just can’t stand to be around that person, it doesn’t matter how nice they are. Don’t impair your judgment just to tolerate someone.

It can go the other way too where your boyfriend / girlfriend may do disrespectful things in your presence.  Such as they hit on all your friends or strangers when you two are out together. So in order to avoid the situation and not confront the issue head on, you start drinking to ignore it. Obviously this doesn’t work. It just makes the problem worse. If you can’t enjoy the company of your partner 100% sober, then it may be time to find someone new.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.