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In my previous blog I defined the Alpha Female. Here we are going to discuss what an Alpha Male is in modern terms of the dating jungle. The Urban Dictionary states:

The term ‘Alpha Male’ can be defined in both a classical and modern sense. The classical definition derives from the animal kingdom and represents a physical form of dominance over other males. The alpha male lion, for example, claims sexual rights to all females, fights off other male lions to enforce it, eats first after every hunt and dominates a vast territory of land for hunting rights.

In a modern/human sense, younger males (teens, early 20s) will subscribe to the classical form. Like a lion, they will often be the strongest, most intimidating, hit on all of the women beta males want, are usually the first to have new sexual experiences and often dominate a set territory in their ‘hunt’ for new women, such as local nightclub scenes.

Older alpha males, however, will evolve the classical traits of strength, intimidation and dominance beyond the physical by gaining power over men through their very means of living and professional reputation. A powerful business executive, for example, will hire, promote, demote and fire others according to how well they serve his own interests. Rock stars, famous actors and other individuals of ‘power’ hold very similar capabilities over others in their respective professions.

Younger alpha males who cannot mature into the modern form will usually cling to the classical form of alpha-maleness for as long as possible.

Wikipedia then has a new definition called Alpha Dad, which then there would also be an Alpha Mom:

A new term which is entering our lexicon is the Alpha Dad. Men that enter young adulthood that can be considered Alpha Males often mature to become Alpha Dads; the Alpha Male with children, or simply a more mature example of the same. The Alpha Dad retains many of the same traits as the Alpha Male – the apex of a social or peer-oriented hierarchy – but the objectives and social dominance perspectives diminish, with emphasis placed on the performance and integrity of the individual, rather than social position.

There are many definitions in the Urban Dictionary that I do not agree with on what an Alpha Male is. Most of them portray an Alpha Male as someone who is arrogant, rude, gets into bar fights and degrades their woman. To me that is not an Alpha Male, that is someone who’s insecure with themselves.

An Alpha Male in my eyes is a man who is secure within himself, confident, knows what he wants and how to get it. He’s a protector of his family and friends. He’s a provider, a problem solver and can tackle any obstacle in his way. He supports his woman and loves her deeply. He does not verbally or physically abuse anyone unless that person is threatening a loved one.

Example: a burglar breaks into your house. The Alpha Male will protect his domain by taking control of the situation so the burglar does not hurt his family or steal his hard earned possessions. Are you an Alpha Male? What would you do in this situation? Protect your family, call the cops or run outside to save yourself?

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.