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This is one rule I believe firmly in. In the beginning, the man should away initiate contact. It doesn’t matter if it’s via text, email, Skype, Facebook or Twitter. The man needs to be the one to make the first move. They are the chasers and need to have the animal instinct triggered within them.

If it’s in person they should be the ones to approach the woman. You can give subtle hints to let them know its ok to approach you, such as flirting from across the way.  Flipping your hair and coyly looking over your shoulder at them, yet they need to be the ones to strike up conversation.

Online conversations should start out by the man emailing you first, then you responding. I’ve tested this theory out myself and it goes nowhere if the woman emails the man. It doesn’t matter how hot you are. When you initiate contact, it makes it too easy for them. They need the chase, they want the unattainable woman. The last man I dated stated, “If I can’t date a woman out of my league, then I don’t want to date at all.”

Once the man initiates contact with you online, you can converse with him casually, if you so choose to. Do not ask him for his phone number! Nor ask him to go out with you. Make casual conversation until he either gives you his number and asks you to call him or asks you out on a date.  Then it’s perfectly fine to call or text him, because he already initiated it.

After meeting him up for a first date or initial short meet and greet, do not call him after. No short text messages of thanks had a good time, etc. Wait for him to contact you. If he never contacts you after the date, he’s not interested. Don’t start text stalking him or freaking out, put your dating anxiety in check, and move on. In this day and age of social media, cell phones and internet if he likes you he will find you. It’s not that hard. If a guy is totally into you he would go as far as writing a note and tying it to a pigeon’s leg if he thought it would reach you. If there’s no follow up, he’s just not that into you, as the 2009 movie portrays.

It’s actually just as simple as that. Don’t read between the lines or dissect all the behavior with your girlfriends.  There’s someone out there for everyone and that just was not a match made in heaven.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.