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With the deadly glare, Jack Nicholson retorts, “You can’t handle the truth!” during the memorable scene from the movie A Few Good Men.

This statement is so true because most people cannot handle the truth. Everyone has a perception of themselves and if someone gives them a reflection they don’t like, they can’t handle it. The truth hurts because we don’t want to accept it. If someone is trying to help you or tell you areas that need improving try to listen.

For example; if a guy states every woman he goes on a date with disappears and never returns his phone calls or texts, don’t get upset if someone tells you why. At least now you know. Maybe you can take that and turn it into something positive and improve yourself. Nothing is ever lost from an experience, yet sometimes our egos get in the way of learning.

If a date doesn’t go well, instead of just ignoring the person let them know. Wouldn’t it be nice to have feedback from your dates versus dead silence? I’m not talking about ill malice type comments, but truthful. If they ask, tell them. Just be prepared for a possible lashed out response. Don’t take it personal. They’re just not ready to handle the truth. No one’s perfect. I’m not, you’re not and neither is George Clooney. He’s pretty darn close though 😉

I know I cuss too much, drink too much and place very high expectations on myself and others. After my divorce I was an emotional wreck and had put on about 20 pounds. It was hard to put myself back out into the dating jungle. Finally I went to meet a guy from a dating site. I got there early and sat at the bar for a drink. I saw him walk by outside and not come in. I texted him and then he came back, he said he had to go move his car. He left and disappeared. I kept texting him thinking he was lost. He finally said I looked nothing like my photos and wasn’t interested. I was appalled! I had never been stood up in my life. I was voted “most desirable female of my senior class” no one stands me up!

It was a hard pill to swallow. Though, after a while I looked in the mirror and realized I wasn’t myself. The emotional turmoil of my divorce had taken a toll on my body. I got determined, started eating healthy and exercising again. Six months later was back to my normal, happy, healthy self.

It’s not easy to look in the mirror. Every now and then we have to. Take these experiences to learn and grow. We all go through difficult times in our lives, let’s make the best of them.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.