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When you are online dating it’s important to have a weeding out process. If you are a half way decent looking guy or girl you are going to receive anywhere from 20 up to 50 emails a day. It can become overwhelming. You do not want to spend your entire day emailing everyone back. The good ones are going to get lost in the shuffle with the bad ones.

Devise a plan of attack. Check your email two-three times a day. Each time you check the online account have at least five non-negotiables in mind.  What are the qualities in another person that you just can’t live without? Don’t go overboard, remember, this is just an initial weeding out process. For example, these are my non-negotiables when I filter through emails:

  1. They have to be between the ages of 29 and 45
  2. No children under 18 years old
  3. Must live within a 50 mile radius from me (no long distance relationships)
  4. They cannot be legally bound to another person (separated but not divorced)
  5. No one under 6ft tall (I’m very tall, so short guys do not work for me)
  6. Must be either self-employed or work for someone
  7. I have to be attracted to their photos
  8. Their email and profile must be articulate and doesn’t say something like, “Hey sexy momma”

This is the first step in deciding who you want to email back. When you open an email, read it, check their profile against your criteria. Does it meet all standards? If one thing is off, skip, onto the next! Be concrete with what your non-negotiables are. Don’t waiver from them. If you don’t want to date someone with kids, then no matter how cute the guy or girl is, move on.

When you check their profile make sure to read the entire entry before responding. If you don’t, you may miss something listed within the content that was against your non-negotiables. Also pay attention to the tone of the message. It seems there are a lot of angry men from my experience on these sites who are pissed off at the world. I came across a guy’s profile that was mostly in caps (yelling) and saying rude remarks to all women in general. When you come across someone that looks like a loose cannon or sends you a rude email, don’t even respond. You don’t want to piss off a psycho. Better to defuse the situation. Any response you send is going to give them ammunition. In this day and age you don’t want to mess with crazy, because crazy can buy machine guns online without ID.

Double check your own profile. Have a friend read it and ask their opinion. Do you come off as angry, stuck up, too picky, or arrogant? Make sure you are portraying yourself appropriately. What you put out there is what’s going to find you. Write an articulate profile and you should receive intelligent responses. Sometimes we don’t even know the vibes we’re placing out there.

If you are not receiving the type of responses you want from internet dating websites, coaches can greatly help you. They can write a profile with you, give you advice on what photos to post and who to respond to. If you want to greatly improve your online dating experience you can contact me for phone and in-person internet dating coaching sessions. Sometime a third persons opinion makes all the difference in the world.

Tara Richter

Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.