, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The quality of people on online dating sites is enough to drive a person to drink. In this day and age you can never be too careful about who you are meeting via the internet or going out on dates with. Lots of people out there misrepresent themselves. Guys will say anything to get into a hot girl’s pants. Especially, when you meet someone on the internet. You have no idea who this person is; if they’re married, where they live, what they do for a living? Did they just get out of prison; do they have a wife and child they are hiding, what really is their story? They can pretty much say anything they want to and you would believe it. Why wouldn’t you, everyone’s honest right? Wrong. You need to take responsibility for yourself and find out who this person is with whom are conversing with. It would be nice if you could believe everything a person told you, unfortunately that’s not today’s society. Be safe, research your dates.

                For example, I met this guy on a dating website. We conversed through email and a few text messages for a few weeks. He said he lived in Orlando. Though he travels all the time, used to live in IL, goes to London for work and right now is living out of hotel rooms. That sounded a little fishy, but I know some people travel a lot of business. He said he was a coach, mentor and does speaking engagements. He wanted me to come up to Orlando for a date and said he wanted to take me shopping at the Outlets. Well, what girl would turn that down? So we planned a date. Then he canceled said he had to go back to London at the last minute. I asked what he did in London for work; he said he takes people to watch soccer games. That sounded weird to me too. Why do you need to take them to watch soccer? Can’t they just go themselves?

                Anyway, I decided to do some research on this guy. Before I drive all the way to Orlando and back (which is a 3 hour round trip for me) I need to find out more details. He had not given me a lot of info about him; he was always asking questions about me. He asked me if I was married, I told him I was divorced, yet I asked him the same and he didn’t respond, instead he changed the subject. Also another weird thing was that he never would call me. It’s been my experience that if a guy never calls you, or only does during the day then goes MIA at night, it’s because he’s married. It’s easier for him to text you in front of his wife than call you.

            I had his full name & business email address. I googled it and I found his LinkedIn.com profile. On his profile it had his personal and business websites. I went to those and discovered he had opened a Great Clips. It had photos of him, a woman and a child on that site. So, I’m assuming his married with a child. It had her name within the captions of the photos, but nothing more. I went back to LinkedIn.com and his profile stated that his business served the greater Chicago, IL area. I went to WhitePages.com, searched him in Chicago. It actually pulled up that he lived right outside in a small town in WI. Though, on white pages it will tell you the address, who else is living within that household and the approximate age range. The name of the woman in the photos matched the information within WhitePages.com. I wanted to see if I could pull up their marriage certificate, even though for me this was evidence enough that he was a married man. I searched their address to find the county they resided in. It came up as Kenosha. I went to the Kenosha County Clerk of Courts website. Unfortunately, Kenosha makes you pay to search family records. I didn’t want to cough up the money, so instead I searched the Kenosha Circuit Court Records. I discovered that their house went into foreclosure at the beginning of this year with his wife’s name on the docket.  Also he was sued for an automobile/ injury accident back in 1993. Right there the proof is in the pudding. He’s married, without even needing to search the family courts. If her name is on the foreclosure docket, then it had to of been on the title, mortgage and or deed. Normally you wouldn’t have someone on title, etc. unless it’s a spouse or in other cases a sibling/ parent. I don’t believe the latter to be the case. Especially, since I saw their family portrait on the Great Clips website.  

                Within 10 minutes I discovered all this information on a man I was conversing with over the internet. Thank goodness for public records! It’s so easy in this day and age to find out if someone is full of crap or telling you the truth. The internet is a great tool to find information and most of it is for FREE. You need to take responsibility for who you are dating. Don’t leave it up to them.  You don’t want to get involved into a relationship and then two months down the line have some woman come knocking on your doorstep. It’s just like defensive driving. It would be nice to think everyone’s a good driver, but they’re not. The roads are filled with crazy drivers that do stupid things like pulling out in front of you. You have to maneuver around them, slam on your breaks and swerve out of the way to avoid getting your car smashed. The same goes for dating, practice safe dating. Be smart and do your research. It will save you a lot of grief down the road and help you from drinking at your office during work!


Tara Richter is an Internet Dating Coach in Tampa Bay. She is the author of “The Dating Jungle Series” and an Internet TV Show Host.